Bragging Rights: A Message for Women Who Want to Stop Playing Small

I see it all the time:  Amazing, capable women who choose to give their power away by disowning or belittling their considerable accomplishments.  It happened recently at a public speaking workshop that I facilitated.  Describing the growth of a conference series and a foundation she’d established to help bring global awareness to her son’s genetic disease, an exceedingly accomplished woman said “So, I kind of put together several conferences…and, oh, yeah, we’ve even had some international experts speak at them, so that’s been pretty good…” She tossed off her remarks in a tiny voice and in an offhand manner, the disclaimers she inserted (“kind of”) diluting them even more.

I was shocked, as I always am when someone – male or female – chooses to verbally diminish their fabulous selves.  When I pointed out what she’d done, the woman in question said “But I don’t want to BRAG about myself!  That’s so HARD! And I don’t even know how!”

An older man at the workshop, a CEO of several successful companies, piped up: “Well, guys sure do.  If you were a man, you’d have no trouble telling us what you’re good at and why.”  Based on my experience it was hard to disagree with his statement.

This unwillingness to “brag on” ourselves and our accomplishments stems partly from our experiences as young girls when, especially in middle school, we got the unspoken message that it wasn’t “nice” to “be conceited” and toot our own horn.  Unfortunately, this attitude is hurting us in the workplace, where we have to be able to promote ourselves and negotiate on our behalf or we won’t progress to greater levels leadership.

As a woman, if you are pitching yourself (or, indirectly, a product, or a service) you must learn to get comfortable embracing and expressing your true worth.  You are not here to play small and to hide your light in the basement. The world needs you and what you are here to do. Choose to toot your own horn.  Because if you don’t, who will?

SOURCE: http://abecssbr.com/ann-arbor/ann-arbor-2011/guest-columns-ann-arbor-201...