Listen and Really Hear

Late for lunch, I rushed into a restaurant and told the host I was meeting a friend.  He looked at his chart of tables, and said, “We haven’t seated any part

ies of one. Looks like you’re the first to arrive.”  I immediately replied “I’ll go look for my friend,” and bolted into the dining room.  After a quick look around, I realized two things:  My friend had not yet arrived; and the host had already told me that.  I just hadn’t listened.

Embarrassed, I walked back to the host, who was waiting for me with a knowing smile, and apologized for not having truly heard what he had plainly said to me. “Happens all the time,” he shrugged, and led me to a table for two.  As I waited for my friend, I wondered “How often do I listen, but not really hear?” Ironically, I teach listening skills to my coaching clients. It was sobering to realize I needed a refresher course in my own teachings!

We tend to hear what we want to hear.  I expected my friend to have arrived before me, and that she’d be seated and waiting, and so that’s what I imagined the host had said.  Had I allowed myself to be conscious and present, to listen and really HEAR the words he’d spoken, I would have understood the truth of the matter.

Listening well seems to be a skill that is slowly eroding, especially in service-oriented businesses.  Think about it: How many times have waiters or fast-food providers gotten your food order wrong, for example–even when you clearly spelled out what you wanted?

What about you? Are you a good listener?  How often do you listen but not really hear?  How often are you so focused on yourself and getting your turn to speak, that you listen with half and ear without really hearing what someone else is saying?

Good listening requires you to still yourself and truly hear while someone — a colleague, a family member, a friend—speaks to you. By choosing to Listen and Really Hear, you help others feel appreciated, understood and honored, which enriches your life and your business.

SOURCE: http://abecssbr.com/ann-arbor/ann-arbor-2011/guest-columns-ann-arbor-201...